Quieting the No's

Justina Kochansky

London, UK

March 2015

Quieting the No's

My sense of creativity has been in a fallow period. Lots of changes, including an international move, were more of a drain than I'd realized and my “little haters” had jumped into my mental space to have a field day. “Not good enough, been done before, etc, etc.” All the “No's” that every artist faces seemed much louder and easy distractions proved to be more seductive. I knew something had to change, but my attempts at forcing discipline weren't working and only seemed to make me more depressed about the whole thing.

I'd been encouraged to apply to the Rensing Center before, but had never really given it serious thought; “Oh, I'm not a good enough artist, I'd just waste their time,” said the little haters. This year, however, I'd decided to really try to find my footing again, so I went for it. And here I am.

And boy is it helping!

I'm not usually one for rituals, but I found the Shred, Walk, Create exercise inspiring. (If you don't know it, keep reading the blog. Not only will you find out the details, you'll encounter some lovely stories!) It's a simple exercise, but surprisingly effective. My little haters are still there (they always will be) but I have a decisive reply to them now: “No, I've shredded that.” Since then, I've felt more able to work with the images that have been sitting quietly in the background, waiting their turn. Having time to focus in the beautiful, peaceful space is just the sort of nurturing environment I've needed, and for the first time in what feels like years I'm looking forward to playing with my ideas.

- J Kochansky

kochansky.org

P.S.  I first encountered the term "Little Haters" from Jay Smooth.  His video so well encapsulates the cycle I find myself in, that I recommend a viewing.